I had another article all planned for this month.  I just closed it and decided to write this one on a whim.  Sometimes I am struck by little “inspirations” and I feel like I have to just follow my gut (actually, the use of the word “gut” is a bit of a pun, but you’ll have to read on to understand why).

I had a CT-scan this morning.  I’ve had one before; I knew what to expect.  Last night before bedtime, I sat down with my straw in hand and sucked down a barium milkshake.  It was mocha/cappuccino flavored, which is far more pleasant than what I’ve had in the past, but still, let’s face it folks:  it’s still a barium milkshake.  Then, I woke up early this morning, turned on the TV and treated myself to yet another mocha flavored barium milkshake.

I drove to the imaging place, a nice office with a super-cool free coffee machine (anyone who knows me, knows that any place with a free coffee machine is tops in my book).  I sat down, waited for them to call my name, and sucked down a cup of coffee.

Fast forward ten minutes…I’ve changed into scrubs, walked into the imaging room, laid down on the table, had the IV inserted, and am waiting for the scan to begin.  I’m very calm about these things.  They don’t really bother me.  I’m not an alarmist about radiation or anything like that.  I relaxed, held my breath when I was told to, and before I knew it, the scan was over.

So, as I was leaving, the technologist asked me if I wanted a CD-ROM of my films.  I stopped.  I’d never been asked that before, but I thought, why the heck not?  I think it would be fun to look at pictures of the insides of my lower abdomen.

I hurried home.  I popped the disc into my computer, loaded the software that allows me to look at the pictures, and in a few moments, I was starting at a picture of my large and small intestines…

…I think.

You see, what I thought would be an interesting little exercise in peering into my abdominal organs was, in fact, a lesson that I have to remind myself of every now and then:

I don’t know everything.

Yes, it can be painful to admit, but every once in a while, I get a jarring reminder that as much as I like to think that I know everything there is to know about everything, there is no possible way that could be true.  As I sat and stared at the interesting images, I thought to myself “You see, this is why radiologist and radiological technologist go to school for this stuff.”  I simply don’t have education and experience to read a CT-scan.

So, that’s a cute story and all, but what’s the point?  Just this:  no man is an island.  We all have different talents, gifts, likes and dislikes.  There is no reason that any of us should feel like we have to do it all on our own.  There is a reason that we are all here together, rather than alone:  we all need each other.

The take home message is this:  it’s okay to rely on others for help.  And even more than that, it’s okay to tell someone how much you appreciate them and the work they do.

Because, I’m willing to bet money, marbles or chalk that someone else appreciates what you do too.

So, back to the title.  Why is the know-it-all so elusive?

Because it doesn’t exist.

PS - I don’t want anyone to be alarmed by the CT-scan thing.  It’s just a hernia.

I’ve been playing a game lately.

I have been posting daily updates on Facebook (yes, that’s right, I’m on Facebook) that I call “The Overly Complicated Saying of the Day”. The premise is this: I take a fairly common cliche or saying, and I change the words without changing the meaning in order to make it extremely convoluted.

Examples:
“What goes around comes around” becomes “That which begins at zero degrees on a circle will progress 360 degrees to its point of origin”.

“If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen” becomes “Averse to a steply increasing thermal gradient? Hastily remove yourself from your personal mess hall”.

And finally,

“No matter where you go, there you are” becomes “Regardless of the location in which you find yourself, you will always find yourself in that location”.

Get the picture?

Well, this month, I’m going to preach, and then practice what I preach. Everyone knows the common acronym K.I.S.S., which means Keep It Simple, Stupid! The meaning? Don’t make a situation any more complicated than it has to be. In the scientific world, there is a corrollary to this concept: Occam’s Razor. Simply stated, Occam’s Razor says that the solution that requires the fewest number of assumptions is usually the correct solution. Even more directly stated: the simplest solution tends to be the right one.

What does this have to do with life and my Facebook status updates? I would like to submit that we human beings have a tendency to complicate our lives unnecessarily. Rather than tell the truth and face punishment for doing something wrong, our tendency is to lie and cover it up, which leads to more and more lies, until we become entangled in a convoluted web of lies. Rather than take a portion of our paycheck and set it aside of savings, we play risky games with credit cards and balance transfers in an effort to “beat the system”.

It’s a little like the game I’m playing on Facebook. These truisms that I have perverted by turning them into almost indecipherable strings of words are analogous to the ways that we sometimes tend to complicate our lives unnecessarily.

Bottom line: let’s look for ways to simplify our lives.

And to that end, I am going to adhere to another meaning of K.I.S.S…

…Keep it Short, Stupid!

The Ride of Our Lives:  Avoiding the Quagmire of “The Almost There”

One of the great joys of parenthood is watching your children discover things for the very first time.  My daughter, Eleanor, is three and a half years old, and every day, she discovers something new and exciting.  And while these things might seem mundane to the rest of us, there is something magical about “the first time”.

Recently, we sat down to watch “The Princess and the Frog” with our daughter.  She was delighted at the classic animation as well as all the singing and dancing on the screen.  She jumped up and down during the musical numbers.  She gasped at the villain (were Disney Movies always that scary???).  She cheered when the protagonists finally “won the day”.  I’m not sure which was more fun: watching the movie or watching my daughter.

And yet, it is always amazing to me that even an “old man” such as myself can pick up on something subtle in a Disney animated movie.

During one of the opening sequences, the female lead sings a beautiful, up-tempo song called “Almost There”.  The lyrics of the song center on her dream of opening an upscale restaurant in New Orleans, and the trials and tribulations she has gone through to climb the mountain toward that dream.  She works multiple jobs.  She sacrifices a social life with her friends.  She sacrifices almost everything in the name of this dream.  And over and over again, she keeps saying that she is “almost there”.  It got me to thinking:  how many of us keep saying “I’m almost there”, only to find that some time down the road, we are still “almost there”.

Many motivational gurus espouse the idea of concrete goal-setting, and I agree with this idea in principle.  A life lived without goals is an aimless life, indeed.  I believe whole-heartedly that goal-setting is in our psychological DNA.  From the very earliest age, we all have dreams to which we aspire.  I remember that as a five-year-old, my dream was to one day be Superman.  In grade school, I had a slightly more down-to-earth dream of being an astronomer.  When I graduated high school, I had a dream of becoming a medical doctor.  After my undergraduate, I had a dream of earning a Ph.D.  And I achieved that dream in 2005.  The road from “Superman” to Jesse Greever, Ph.D. was filled with ups and downs, and a constant re-evaluation of goals and dreams, but am I disappointed that I didn’t fulfill my earliest dreams of becoming a flying superhero?

Not at all.

Okay, maybe just a little…I mean, flying WOULD be cool.

So what is my point?

Only this:  in our lives, we must constantly be open to the re-evaluation and re-formulation of our hopes and dreams.  If I were still wanting to be Superman, I am confident that I would spend the rest of my life stuck in the “almost there”.  You see, I believe that there are some guidelines we must follow in order to set attainable goals, and then work our way to achieving these milestones in our lives.  Here are some practical ideas that I have for you.

A goal MUST be a challenge:  I could set a goal for myself to get out of bed every morning, but where is the joy and pride in achieving this goal?  I agree that this might be a challenging goal for someone with a debilitating physical illness, and in that case, I would applaud the achievement of that goal on a daily basis.  But for me, this is not a challenging goal.  In order for a goal to be worthwhile, it MUST be a challenge.  Then, the accomplishment of that goal carries some lasting meaning.  

A goal MUST be reasonably attainable:  It does no good to set unreasonably lofty goals for ourselves.  I will NEVER be a flying superhero, because it is not reasonable for me to expect that I will someday discover the secret to levitating my body off of the ground.  It defies physical laws.  IT IS NOT ATTAINABLE.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that we should “dumb down” our goals.  That’s not it at all.  I believe that our goals should push us to become something better than we are today.  However, unreasonable and unattainable goals are nothing short of a recipe for poor self-esteem and increased self-doubt.  Our goals must strike a balance between being both attainable AND challenging.

A goal MUST be specific:  Don’t say “I want to be rich someday”.  Rather, say “I want to have a million dollars in my retirement account”.  It is both concrete and quantifiable.  Nebulous, non-specific goals aren’t really goals at all.  They are simply pipe-dreams.

A goal MUST have an end-point:  Even better, say “I want to have a million dollars in my retirement account by the time that I am 55 years old”.  Now you not only have a goal, but a timeline.

Finally, a goal MUST have concrete milestones:  Once you decide that you want to have a million dollars in your retirement account by the time that you are 55 years old, set up some milestones.  You might say “I want to have $250,000 in my retirement account by the time that I am 40.”  That is a first milestone.  Set up intermediate steps.  Every big goal should be made up of smaller “chunks” that allow for smaller victories along the way.  These victories are motivators to continue on toward the ultimate goal.

Now, of course, I used a monetary goal, but this can be used for any type of goal that you want to achieve.  Maybe you want to be a better parent or spouse.  Applying these guidelines allows you to think through this.  How do you define being a better parent or spouse?  Maybe you want to spend more time with your kids.  Maybe you want to make more quality time to spend with your spouse.  By sitting down and defining a challenging, yet attainable goal, one that has specific timelines and milestones, you can set a goal for yourself that can help you become what you want to be.

Goals are a tremendous tool for improving life for yourself and those that you care about.  Achievement of these goals is both life-affirming and uplifting.

And, I believe, by following these simple guidelines, we all can avoid getting bogged down the “Almost There Quagmire”.

I like theatre. When I was in High School, I was very active in CHS Players, our High School’s Drama Department. Many of the lessons I learned while doing various plays and musicals still stick with me today (kudos to Kathy Breeden, who was one of my favorite high school teachers!). One thing I learned I still find quite useful even today.

In theatre, there exists a common question that is asked of actors. “What’s your motivation?” It sounds like a funny question, even one that has been ridiculed in various parodies of actors and actresses. And yet, as it does in the fantasy world of theatrics, it has very real implications in the very real world in which we live.

What’s YOUR motivation?

To put into context the importance of this question, let’s enter into a hypothetical situation: weight loss. It is late-February, and most New Year’s Resolutions have gone out the window. One of the most common resolutions is of the get-in-shape/lose-weight variety. And while these are important goals, why is it that so many of us fail to follow through with our good intentions? Because we don’t have the appropriate motivation.

Big revelation, eh?

I mean, you don’t need some “talking head” on a website telling you that the reason that resolutions fail is a lack of appropriate motivation, right? But let’s dig deeper.

We all HAVE motivations for wanting to lose weight and get in shape. But are they the right ones? For instance, if your motivation is to “be healthier”, it’s not really a motivation. It’s nebulous and it doesn’t really provide a true motivation.

So, what is in appropriate motivation for getting healthy or losing weight? Pick one! Maybe you want to go on a vacation in the summer, and you want to fit into certain size swimwear. Maybe you want to run a 10K and need to get in better shape to accomplish it. Maybe you are “tired of being tired” all the time and you simply want to eliminate the after-work nap that you feel compelled to take. All of these are perfectly good motivations. So why do these tend to work and “being healthier” doesn’t?

Specificity! Be specific.

Before you set a goal for yourself, ask yourself “Why do I want to accomplish this?”. Accomplishment for the sake of accomplishment ends up in disappointment.

In addition to giving you good solid reasons for striving to meet your goal, asking yourself “Why?” also helps you to define appropriate goals. For instance, many people want to make more money. But, when you ask yourself “Why do I want to make more money?” you might find that your reasons aren’t very good, and that it is not an appropriate goal for which to strive.

So, specificity in goal-setting not only helps to motivate you towards your goal more effectively, but it also helps you set goals that are worthwhile and impactful.

Finally, I would encourage you to have another simple criterion for your motivations: Does this benefit ONLY me, or other people around me? I would submit that those goals that benefit people that you care about in addition to yourself are truly the goals that are worth pursuing.

All right. I’ve said enough.  Now…GO GET ‘EM!

Well, here we are.  It’s the beginning of a New Year (okay, I realize that I am about three weeks late on the whole “New Year” shtick, but hey, this is the first chance we’ve had to “talk”, you and me).  Some might say it is the beginning of a new decade, but anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a stickler for precision, therefore, I would be one of those saying that this is the LAST year of the decade.

But I digress…

This is the traditional time for well-wishes and good intentions for the upcoming year.  That’s right…it’s Resolution time.  Now, I’m not much for resolutions, mainly because I have this uncanny ability to fail miserably at keeping them.  However, I do see the value in being forward thinking, and for that reason, I will offer my thoughts on what kinds of “resolutions” we ought to be making for 2010.  These aren’t specifically health or career oriented, however, these over-arching principles have the potential to touch every area of our lives.

I would like to submit that we should all “Turn Pro”.  I am not normally one for catchy, gimmicky motivational statements, so this marks a first for me (and to be honest, I’m secretly patting myself on the back for being so clever).  What do I mean by “turn pro”?

It’s all about a prefix.

Earlier this week, Christopher challenged us to be PROactive.  He and I did not plan this out, but there could not be a better prelude to this article (Thanks, Christopher!).  What I refer to when I say “Turn Pro” is this…there are a number of words where it would help us to replace the prefix “re-” with “pro-”, and in those cases, I challenge everyone reading this article (all two of you) to focus on “turning pro”.  Let me give three examples:

1.  Proactive vs. Reactive:  As I mentioned, my good friend Christopher already touched on this, so I won’t spend a great deal of time here.  But, suffice it to say that someone much wiser than me (Stephen Covey, perhaps) once said that people who are REactive have things happen TO them and people who are PROactive HAPPEN to situations.  In other words, the proactive person acts ON the situation.  To a reactive person, situations happen TO them.  Okay, the dead horse is officially beaten, but let me sum this concept up.  It is always best to plan.  It is always best to anticipate things BEFORE they happen.  This is essential to being the proactive person.  Don’t wait until a situation reaches critical mass.  Act in advance, and head the crisis off at the pass.  Nip it in the bud.  Insert any additional cliche about thinking ahead you’d like here…

2.  Protract vs Retract:  Even the most outgoing, vivacious person has situations where they would prefer to fade into the background.  We all have areas where we are uncomfortable with “putting ourselves out there”.  I would challenge everyone to PROtract..extend yourself…do something that is uncharacteristic for you.  Try at least ONE new thing each month.  It doesn’t have to be profound.  If you are a picky eater, maybe give sushi a try.  If you are a reader of fiction, maybe try a biography.  If you are sedentary, maybe give walking around the neighborhood a try.  These aren’t massive changes, but they are changes nevertheless.  Instead of REtracting and retreating into our habits, let’s try PROtracting and extending ourselves into new areas and new adventures.

3.  Progress vs Regress:  There are many cases where it is comfortable to step back into certain levels of immaturity, because it feels safe.  When it comes to conflict in our relationships, in many cases, it is just easier to regress back to being a teenager (or even a toddler) and deal with the situation on a level befitting someone much younger than ourselves.  Sometimes we would just rather say “Mine, mine, mine!” rather than work out our differences.  Sometimes we would just rather say “Because I DESERVE it!” rather than consider the ramifications.  But, I believe the wonderful part about being an adult is that we have daily opportunities to make PROgress in our lives and our levels of maturity.  We each have different areas where we need to make progress.  Perhaps you need to listen more than you speak.  Perhaps you need to think “outside yourself” and consider the needs of others.  Perhaps you need to make a conscious effort to put your spouse’s desires before your own.  Perhaps you need to MAKE time to play with your kids instead of burying yourself in your work 14 hours a day.  The fact is, I don’t know you personally, so I don’t know what your challenges are.  But, I’m willing to bet that upon a few minutes of introspection, you could identify three or four areas where you could work on making some PROgress.

So, there you have it.  Three areas where we all could probably stand to “turn pro”.  Obviously, Rome wasn’t built in a day.  Understanding that is essential to success on a journey of self-improvement, and if we all try to make small steps in one area at a time (yes, ONE AT A TIME…that’s critical), we can become “pros” in less time than we think.

Happy 2010!

On your mark…

Get set…

Go (PRO)!

Mick Jagger isn’t what I would call a poet, and certainly not a genius.  In fact, I have never much cared for The Rolling Stones.  But one thing I do know is that occasionally, even the most uninspiring person can provide inspiration.  (No offense to those of you who like The Rolling Stones…their music just doesn’t resonate with me.)

 So, without further delay, I will share what inspirational lyrics The Rolling Stones have for us today:

        “You can’t always get what you want,
         you can’t always get what you want,
         you can’t always get what you want.
         But if you try sometimes, you might find
         you get what you need.”

Repetitive, isn’t it?  And yet, there is something hidden here, intended or not, by the author of these lyrics.

       Don’t you think that sometimes it is worth reminding ourselves that we CANNOT in fact get everything we want?  And sometimes, as human beings, we are so thick-skulled, that maybe it wouldn’t hurt for us to repeat that idea to ourselves MULTIPLE times?  This is the first thing that jumps out at me from these lyrics.

        We are so focused most times on what we WANT that sometimes we neglect our own (or others’) needs.  Even after the financial meltdown of this year, people still seem to be rushing around the DFW metro area, frantically shopping at the area malls to put themselves deeply into credit card debt (yet again) to buy that big gift for a friend or family member, who may, or may not, remember in a year’s time from whom they received it.

        I say it is time for that behavior to stop, although it never will (unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of power).  It is shocking to me that after the events of this year that we have fallen so quickly back into our old habits.  We have gone back to trying to get EVERYTHING that we want (well, okay, not everyone…there are still many who are without gainful employment).  Why are we SO dense?  Was this year not a warning about what can happen when greed and avarice run rampant?  I wish I knew the answer to it all.

        Alas, I do not.

     But let’s move on.  The second part of the chorus to this song is the most important:  “But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.”

      Two quick points:  First, what you need will not necessarily just land in your lap without any effort.  The lyric points out that when “…you try sometimes…”.  I am a firm believer in the idea that God helps those who help themselves.  This does not mean that I believe that we can “take over” for God, but what it does mean is that I think that God honors effort.  If we do everything that we can, in a moral and ethical manner, to make sure that we provide for our needs, I have complete faith that God will fill in the gaps for us.  Second, and most important, is that we need to focus on NEEDS.  And not just our needs.  If we have all of our needs provided, then it is time to take a gander around us, and see what needs must be met for our friends, family members and neighbors.

        I have been very blessed this year.  I still have a job, and while my sales have been down and my commissions have decreased from last year, I have been blessed by the ability to provide for my family’s needs (by the grace of God).  However, I certainly haven’t been able to provide all of our wants (I’m not sure I could ever make THAT much money).  But, since our needs our met, especially at this time of year, I feel a certain compulsion to find a way where I can help someone whose needs are NOT being met.

        Wouldn’t it be great if everyone who had a little money left over after all their needs were met would pitch in just a little to someone who might be in need?  What a difference that might make in someone’s life!  What a Christmas that might be!

        It is my wish this Christmas that we stop focusing on getting everything that we want (stop focusing on everything that we want…stop focusing on everything that we want…keep saying it…it will sink in), and start focusing on and becoming sensitive to our needs, and the needs of others around us.  If we can just help to reduce the needs of one person around us, isn’t that worth more than the new flat screen TV or the Playstation 3?
       

     If we all try sometime…we might find…
        …you know the rest.

        Merry Christmas and see you in 2010.  I so enjoy sharing my thoughts with you, and plan on continuing to do so in the next year.  I don’t know if there are many people following this column, but if you have comments or just want to let me know that you are reading, please feel free to drop me an email at jesse.greever@att.net.  I look forward to hearing from you, whoever you are!   -Jesse

I know that I’m guilty and I know that most of us are. We are guilty for not being grateful for what we have. Lest you think this is about to be a lecture, it certainly is not. Rather, I remind myself, along with readers, how there are always things for us to be grateful for during this Thanksgiving and Christmas season. Years ago, I read the following. I know Christopher has used it in speaking in the past and it’s an excellent reminder for us this time of year. While I am not certain who originally wrote it, it certainly helps put our life in perspective.

I felt bad when I met the man who had no car, until I met the man who had no bike.

I felt bad for the man who had no bike, until I met the man who had no shoes.

I felt bad for the man who had no shoes, until I met the man who had no feet.

I felt bad for the man who had no feet, until I met the man who had no legs.

I felt bad for the man who had no legs, until I was reminded of the man who had just died.

And you get the idea. It could always be worse.

I have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving and Christmas, as we all do. That doesn’t mean life is easy and it doesn’t mean we are no longer in a recession. It does mean, however, that we do not have the right to feel sorry for ourselves.

Log back on next month as we look at additonal practical steps for surviving tough times. Until then, have a blessed Thanksgiving and let us all be grateful for

Well, the news is a little brighter as the year marches towards a close.  The Dow is over 10,000 (at least today), home values are beginning to see some increases in various markets across the US and a recent report on a national news site showed data that the current recession is slowing or beginning to turn around in 79 major metropolitan areas in the USA.  I am always happy to hear good news, and I am thrilled to learn that the economy may be on the way to mending.

But there is something bothering me.

Remember September 12, 2001?  The day after one of the greatest tragedies the US has ever seen, the national mood was somber, but there was something else.  There was a new sense of camaraderie.  There was a renewed sense of patriotism and pride in our country and the values for which it stands.  We were well on the way to emerging from tragedy a stronger nation.  It was a truly inspiring time.  We raised our eyes up, eyes that were full of tears, and looked to each other and our faith to bring us a renewed sense of hope.

Fast forward just a few years.  Within a few short years, that sense of pride, patriotism and hope has all but been erased.  How can that be?  How can something that so profoundly changed us be forgotten so quickly and cavalierly?  I’m not talking about having forgotten the tragedy…I doubt anyone who was old enough to remember 9/11 has forgotten the flood of emotions that they felt as the towers fell.  No.  What I’m talking about is how we have forgotten the sense of community and cooperation that took root in our lives in the days and weeks to follow.  What happened?

Well, now, as I see the economy showing signs of life, I fear that we will quickly forget the struggles of the past year.  It truly concerns me.

I’m not a huge “viral web video” fan, but I did see something recently that really got me thinking.  There is a video floating around the web of a comedian who goes by Louis C. K. during an appearance on Conan O’Brien’s late night show.  The video is titled “Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy”.  The most poignant moment in the video for me is when he describes the first time he was on a flight where In-Flight High-Speed Internet was available.  He tells the audience that a short time into the flight, the flight attendant comes on the PA system, and announces that everyone can open their laptops and connect to the internet.  Louis C. K. says that he was simply amazed.  Flying at 35,000 feet and being able to watch videos streaming over the internet.  He was truly in awe of technology.

And then, a few minutes later, the internet service breaks down, and the person sitting next to him slams his laptop closed and says “This is bull[expletive]!”  And then, commenting on his neighbor, Louis C. K. says something that is burned in my mind forever.  “How quickly the world owes you something that you only knew existed 10 seconds ago!”

Think about that.  I think that we can all think back to a time when we were THAT guy.  I’m guilty of it.  I’m sure Christopher would tell you that he has been guilty of it before.  I think we’re all guilty of that from time to time.

How sad.

As I’ve said before, the world owes us nothing.  How quickly we become “entitled” to everything around us.  Now, as is my usual modus operandi in these articles, I want to offer a few practical points to challenge us to appreciate what we have and be happy about the simple things.  These are things that, no matter what tragedy befalls us, whether financial, emotional or physical, we can do these and take pleasure in them.

1. Rediscover the magic of reading for pleasure.  Lately, my wife and I have done this.  We decided that rather than rot our brains with copious amounts of television, we would read more for pleasure.  And what a tremendous blessing it has been.  I think between us, over the past four months, we have probably read over 30 books, and the enjoyment is unparalleled.  And guess what?  You can go to a library and check out books FOR FREE!  You don’t have to own a television and pay for cable.  You don’t have to buy a movie ticket.  It’s all FREE!  If you aren’t reading a book for pleasure, pick one out and give it a shot.
2. Take a walk.  It’s simple.  It’s free.  And it gives you not only exercise, but a chance to enjoy the crisp fall weather (apologies to anyone living in Alaska…this may not be appropriate).  Instead of settling in for a night of television after dinner, just walk out the door, and set foot on a journey down the sidewalk.  It’s a simple pleasure, but it is worth a try.
3. Invite your friends over for game night.  I have a group of friends that I met through church who take a great deal of pleasure in playing board and card games.  About once or twice a month, we all get together, hire a babysitter (quite cheap when you split it four ways), and we play games.  It is an enriching time of fellowship and friendly competition, and you don’t have to have an expensive gaming system.  Board games cost very little money, and the sense of community and friendship that comes from a friendly game is irreplaceable and priceless.  Try it…I think you will like it.
    

Well, I certainly hope that the reports are correct, and that the recession is beginning to end.  But, my hope is that we will not neglect the simple pleasures in exchange for the luxuries that may have gotten us into the position that we are currently in.

As some of you might notice, I am a little late getting this month’s installment posted. My job requires a great deal of travel, and lately, my laptop battery isn’t quite what it used to be, so I am severely limited on my when, where and how long I can use my computer when I’m on the road. So, while normally, I would have a few hours on a plane or in the airport terminal to write my article, this month I was severely handicapped in that area. But, take comfort, faithful reader(s), I have a new battery on the way. Let the rejoicing begin.

This month, I decided to give a few tales from the road, and talk about how they relate to life in general. This is going to be a bit “lighter” than my normal fare, and my humor has a tendency to be a bit oblique, so if any of this misses the mark, I will apologize in advance.

Number One: If you’re the only one who is complaining, SHUT UP!

I read an article from one of those in-plane magazines that talked about the signs of a true Road Warrior. The first one was that you could pick out a true Road Warrior easily when flights are cancelled or delayed. How, you might ask? The true Road Warrior is the one sitting quietly over in the corner, carrying on with his or her business, or reading the newspaper. You see, people who travel a great deal learn to “roll with the punches”. It is unrealistic to expect every flight to be on time, every day to go exactly as planned, and everything to fall into place. Many times, I have been in this situation over the past couple of years, and while it is an inconvenience when a flight gets cancelled or delayed, I realize that there is nothing that any amount of complaining will do to remedy the situation. Now, when these things happen, I find genuine humor watching the casual travelers nearly have a stroke as they are yelling at the gate agent about the Wedding, Bar Mitzvah or Bed Bath & Beyond Sale that they are going to miss because of this horrible inconvenience. My point? Life is never going to go exactly the way you plan it, and freaking out about it doesn’t accomplish anything. Save yourself the time and energy, close your mouth and find something productive to do. Chill out! Other people are experiencing the same “crisis” that you are. If you are the only one complaining in a room full of 200 people in the same situation, my advice is “shut up!”

Number Two: The person in the middle seat on an airplane should get both armrests.

Everyone knows that the dreaded “middle seat” is to be avoided at all costs. If you are in the window seat, you can lean up against the bulkhead and sleep. If you are in the aisle seat, it’s easy to get out of the row and stretch your legs. There is not a SINGLE REDEEMING QUALITY to the middle seat. Both the aisle and window seats each have one “uncontested” armrest. I am amazed at home many people who are in those seats also feel that the armrest that is shared with the middle seat is also somehow theirs as well. For the love of all that is good in the world, recognize the pain and agony of the person crammed into the middle seat, and let them have the armrests. It seems really absurd, but it can make a long trip far more pleasant, and the person in the middle seat will silently thank you for it. My point? There are tons of people around you who are suffering. Sometimes, even the simplest gesture can ease some of their pain, and let them know that someone out there cares.

Number Three: Turn your flipping cell phones off the FIRST time the flight attendants ask.

Easily one of the most annoying aspects of air travel is that moment when one of the flight attendants comes over the intercom and announces that it is time to turn off all electronic devices, including cell phones. And, for minutes following that, you still hear people chattering away on their phones. Then the second announcement comes. People still chattering away. Then the third announcement comes. Same result. For Heaven’s sake, people! Turn off your blankety-blank cell phones. I know that the fate of the world hangs upon the outcome of your phone call. I know that your business will crumble if you hang up when asked. But, if it is THAT important to stay on the call, ring the flight attendant button and ask them if they can get you on standby for the next flight. My point? Two-fold. First, nothing is THAT important. Just shut your cell-phone off. It will be there when you land, and they invented voicemail for a reason. Second, why is it so difficult to follow directions? I firmly believe that if they took air travelers and stuck them in a second grade classroom, most of them would be sent to the Principal’s Office for not following directions. Grow up, people!

So, I hope this little “intermission” provided a bit of humor couple with lessons as they apply to daily life. Stay tuned next month for more in my continuing series on how to survive these rough economic times.

It’s that time of month again…time for my column.  I’m not sure how many of you regular ChristopherDixon.com subscribers are reading this, but I have to believe that there are some of you who are reading this on a regular basis.  You may wonder what inspires me from month to month, and that is a fair question.  Most, if not all, of the time, it comes from real-life experiences.  The rest of the time, it comes from recent things that I have read that really motivate and inspire me.  This month’s column is a healthy mix of both cases.

I am a huge fan of Dave Ramsey.  And while I have been lax on implementing every single one of his precepts, I find that his advice is sometimes just the kick in the pants that I need.  And so, with that preface, I offer you these practical survival tips for the recession.  Some people are espousing the idea that, as a nation, we are emerging from the recession, but I’m not so sure that I am ready to claim victory. I believe, as I’m sure many of you do, that we still have a long, long way to go.

So, without further ado, let’s launch into the tips:

1. Hug your husband/wife/significant other:  There is no other factor that plays into broken relationships more than finances.  If you are facing financial difficulties, rather than retreat into isolation, share the burden.  Nothing heals like sharing the load, and there is no reason to “protect” your spouse from the difficulties that lie ahead.  Last time I checked, one of the common vows during a wedding ceremony states “for better or worse.”  There is nothing noble about hiding the worse from your partner in life.  Tell them.  Hug them.  Tell them you love them.  And then forge ahead.
2. Set a budget, and live within it:  I heard a rather sobering statistic yesterday.  Nearly 40% of Americans spend more than they make on a monthly basis.  Where does that extra money come from?  Credit cards, loans, and even some far more nefarious sources (ie, PayDay loans).  For many, there is no controlling the income aspect of our budgets.  However, what we do have exclusive control of is the “outgo”.  How much do we spend on cable/satellite TV?  How much are we paying for our cell phone plans?  Is paying for High Speed Internet really worth leveraging your financial future?  Hardly.  There are many ways that we can trim our spending, some less comfortable then others.  But what is more uncomfortable?  Living paycheck-to-paycheck, or eliminating a few luxuries from our lives?
3. When there’s too much month left at the end of the money, make sure you have a place to live and food to eat:  Dave Ramsey espouses prioritizing the bills.  I happen to agree with this, quite whole-heartedly.  He states that there are “four walls” that MUST be paid every month:  Rent/Mortgage, Utilities, Transportation (ie, car loan, insurance) and Food.  When it looks like you aren’t going to make budget, these are the four things that MUST be paid.  You MUST have a place to live; you MUST have heat, water and electricity; you MUST have a way to get to and from work; and you MUST have food for your family.  Everything else can wait.  Do you really think that your Citibank Credit card is more important than these things?  If so, you need to seriously re-evaluate your priorities.
4. Debtor’s prison hasn’t been around since the 1830s:  Naturally following from point number 3, it bears stating that if you can’t make all of your payments every month, you ARE NOT going to jail.  Will the creditors call you and harass you?  Probably.  Can they threaten to sue you?  Sure they can.  Will they sue you?  Probably not.  Are collectors calling?  If so, it is their legal right to call you, but they are paid to threaten and get results.  But, that doesn’t really matter, does it?  Their threats are mostly empty, and at the end of the day, if you don’t have the money to pay them, you don’t have the money to pay them.  They’re just going to have to wait.
5. Stop inviting disaster:  Christmas and birthdays come at the same time every year.  There is no reason to “freak out” when these things are approaching.  Make a plan early on in the year to pay for the items that these events entail.  If you haven’t, then it’s time to scale down.  It’s better to just give a greeting card with words that express your love to someone else than leverage your future to pay for a gift that you can’t afford.  The second that you bust out the credit card to pay for birthdays and Christmas is the second that you break down and decide that you must spend more than you earn.  STOP IT!
6. Finally, explore alternatives:  If the “four walls” are busting your chops, find alternatives.  Utility bills kicking you in the teeth?  Turn the thermostat up!  No one ever died from living in a house where the temperature is 78 degrees (in fact, since moving to Texas, I have found that to be the status quo).  Grocery bills making you pull your hair out?  Last time I check, rice and beans are pretty darned cheap, and fairly nutritive.  It may be time to suspend the weekly steak and shrimp meal and start trimming down the food budget.  Is your rent too much?  It may be time to look at cheaper options.  It’s painful…I know.  But, the fact of the matter is, you will never get out of the position you are in by simply doing the same thing you’re doing now. 

Some of these may be simple, and some of these may be extremely difficult.  But, they are all do-able.  It is time that we stop lying to ourselves and start doing what is necessary.  This is your call to action!  Get up and start making changes. 

And finally, it would be irresponsible for me not to mention this:  If you are a Bible-believing Christian, it is your responsibility to carve out 10% of your earnings (BEFORE TAXES) to give to the church.  The Bible clearly states that if you are faithful in this aspect of the Christian discipline, that God will be faithful to supply your needs.  No if’s, and’s or but’s.  In fact, God asks in the Third Chapter of the book of Malachi to TEST Him in this.  He says that if we are faithful in our giving, He will open the floodgates of blessing.  Let me be clear.  I am not espousing the idea that if you give to God, He will make you wealthy.  But, what WILL happen is that you will find that your needs are met, day after day, and month after month.

If you are NOT a Bible-believing Christian, maybe it is time to explore it.  God IS faithful…I am a living example of that.  Even when times have been tight, God has always seen to it that my family’s needs have been met.  And believe me, in the unpredictable world of sales, that is a load off my mind.

Ready to get started?  Good!  Change is possible…it’s simply up to YOU!